"Why don't you just shut up and go away?" - and other pertinent questions answered
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When the Employment Relations Authority released its Preliminary Determination last week on whether or not it was able to hear two of my claims against TVNZ, it meant I could finally start speaking about something I haven’t been able to speak about in over two and a half years.
And not surprisingly, it’s prompted a few questions.
So here, in this blog, are some answers - to the extent that I can provide them, given I am still bound by confidentiality provisions and am in ongoing litigation.
WHY ARE YOU ONLY TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW?
Well, the ERA’s determination publicly disclosed the existence of the settlement agreement which TVNZ entered into with me in May 2022.
The existence and terms of that agreement remain confidential - unless the information is already in the public domain - so what the ERA’s decision means is that I can speak about some of the things which IT mentioned.
And while it’s true that I only launched my legal action in November 2023, the determination says I gave no reason for waiting 18 months to make my case to the ERA.
But this isn’t correct.
In fact, in my affidavits filed in the Authority, I was very clear that my mental state and that of my family (particularly my teenage daughter) meant I was in no position - physically or mentally - to take any legal action any sooner than I did. It was only when my daughter told me she felt strong enough mentally to deal with this new phase, that I started proceedings.
WHY DID TVNZ OFFER YOU A SETTLEMENT, AND GIVE YOU A PAYMENT?
These are both questions for TVNZ to answer, not me. I can’t speak for them or their motivations.
However, I would say this.
I was portrayed at the time by the media as, essentially, this terrible person who did something reprehensible, and had to leave the organisation in disgrace. And I could never give my response to that, because of the reasons I’ve discussed above.
So, with that narrative having always been in place, I can imagine people being outraged that TVNZ signed a deal with me which included a payment.
But what people might want to think about is WHY TVNZ signed that deal and made that payment.
Generally speaking, companies don’t make confidential payments or gag people from talking about things that have happened, when the story of judgement and blame is as one-sided as it was made out to be.
HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY YOU?
I still have obligations under the settlement agreement, so I can’t answer that.
BUT WHY DID YOU SETTLE WITH TVNZ?
Well, I would describe it as something of a ‘Sophie’s choice’ - a decision I had to make in the face of no good options, and in a context of some extremely trying personal circumstances.
I had moved back to New Zealand after 21 years away, my daughter had just started a new school, and I was being told I was about to lose my job and income (indeed my reason for coming home!) after only a month. My family’s belongings hadn’t yet arrived in the country, and my wife and daughter were living in an unfamiliar place with no support networks in place. I was under the care of a doctor, on heavy medication.
And having been stood down from work on 18 May 2022, I was also under immense pressure from different parties, including the media. I had reporters on my doorstep, speculation in the media and within my workplace, and was eventually forced to leave my home – not that that made much difference because the reporters only followed me to my extended family’s homes.
That was the reality of my situation, and so after TVNZ opened up these discussions and I spoke with my family, I reached an agreement with TVNZ.
WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND GO AWAY? NO-ONE CARES ABOUT YOU ANYMORE OR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
That’s not a verbatim question, but a variation of something I’ve been asked many times and in many forms by keyboard warriors everywhere.
So let me give you a few answers.
FIRST OF ALL, why should I go away?
For 15 months after my resignation, I said nothing, while anonymous voices, journalists, and former colleagues made all sorts of claims about me and my character. As a result, I have no career or job prospects, and my reputation has been destroyed by people with motivations which have never been challenged.
In short, I’ve hidden too long and I’m not going to hide any longer.
Through OIA requests, and from information provided by TVNZ, I have seen the kind of things which have been claimed about me - completely inaccurate fabrications and rumours, which were then perpetuated in the media and accepted as ‘fact’. Why should I let those things stand?
If you haven’t, I really do ask that you go back and read some of my statements – not just the parts that have made it into print. You’ll notice, time and time again, how I say that I want the truth of the matter out there. That’s why I’m still here, and I’m using every available channel I have - both legal and public - to do so.
SECONDLY, you should know more about the harm that’s been done to me and to my family.
There’s always been so much focus on what I’ve allegedly done, but no-one’s considered what that intense and inaccurate media scrutiny was doing to us.
My daughter was pursued by reporters and had to have her name changed to avoid association with me. She’s had to live with her father being labelled “disgraced” at every turn. Her mental health has suffered tremendously. So I absolutely owe it to her and to my family who’ve carried us through these past 30 months to keep fighting for that record to be set straight.
I personally have also had multiple threats sent to me, through social media and this website. They’ve included specific and detailed ways to kill myself, racist slurs, and calls for me to ‘go back to where I came from’. There were defamatory accusations, including from journalists, comparing me to actual criminals. There were threats by people to come to my home to ‘sort me out’. My wife also received threats.
I have also received abuse directly to my phone, which required intervention by my legal team. The person’s employer was informed of this, and the next step would be to contact the Police.
I’ve had to take these things seriously, especially given the media was able to get my address and contact details so easily, as well as details of where my family lives. The make and model of my car, the suburb where I live, the value of my house, and more recently direct quotes from the real estate listing when it was on the market… those were all made public by the media, supposedly “in the public interest”. But publishing that kind of information is reckless, and only emboldens people who wish to do me harm. If the media can find out all of that information, then I have to assume anyone can.
AND THIRDLY, there’s an issue of what I call ‘public redress’.
My resignation was front page news for weeks. Reporters published every little detail they could about me - including lies. They then kept trying to find me for comment (including staking out the houses where my extended family live), all the while claiming that they just wanted to give me a chance to tell my side of the story.
Well now I’m doing that. But as the facts come out, and it’s becoming apparent that they got a massive part of the story wrong, many of those reporters just aren’t interested.
Of course, they’re still happy to link back to the stories they ‘broke’ at the time - including in articles that aren’t even about me! - but the quotes from my current statements are very selective. There’s nothing that might undo the narrative they’ve perpetuated for so long.
And there’ve been journalists who’ve abused and bad-mouthed me on social media too. But what I find interesting is that any time I’ve directly challenged them, they never respond. It seems they’ve been happy to dish it out, but not to be called on it.
So I feel very strongly – as the person at the centre of this, and as a journalist – about setting the record straight. Trust in the media is low, and frankly I can see why.
“THERE IS NO WAY BACK FOR YOU… SO PILLS, ROPE, OR A BULLET… FALL ON YOUR SWORD.”
“THE PLUS FOR YOU IS THAT YOU’RE NOT WELL KNOWN ENOUGH TO MAKE SLIDING INTO OBLIVION DIFFICULT. YOU’VE BEEN CANCELLED. ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON, YOU CLUELESS NARCISSISTIC FUCKTARD.”
“CREEP.”
“TOO BAD YOU COME TO NEW ZEALAND AND SEXUALLY ASSAULT WOMEN AYE? YOUR TIME IS COMING PAL… WE ARE GOING TO VISIT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FOR A CHAT. LEAVE NZ WHILE YOU CAN!!”
“YOU FUCKING ENTITLED PRICK. SHUT THIS SHITSHOW DOWN AND FUCK OFF.”
Just a few examples of the type of messages I’ve been sent - some recently, some not so.
But as they aren’t questions, I can’t answer them.